Don't you send me to vm
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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