any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
