I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
