What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
