A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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