I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
cat food counts as protein by the way
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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