I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
