He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
