quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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