You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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