The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
