new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
