she was so not down for the gang bang
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
