I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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