Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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