girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
