Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
