have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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