The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
