glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How does one acquire holy water?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
