ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Randomize
