There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
