I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
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