I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
