I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
