i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
