AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
