shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
