My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
