drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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