Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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