She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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