school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
