If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
