Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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