Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
