Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry SnailDick hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(954): View more from Florida

Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...

(1-954): View more from Florida

Is this the gay conversation?

Fav 3 1316 2157
share tweet
(361): View more from Texas

At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?

Fav 21 4811 1029
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM

Fav 27 8988 1176
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.

Fav 63 5943 1341
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.

Fav 5 3274 1226
share tweet
(573): View more from Missouri

Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.

Fav 5 2739 885
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage

Fav 3 2173 1442
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world

Fav 0 574 427
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(478): View more from Georgia

Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John

Fav 1 28 2
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT