the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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