Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
