I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
