my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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