do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
