Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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