its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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