Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
