i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
