youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm at about main and main street
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
