you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
