kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
