I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
